flux

i am hanging on a string

hi friend,

i feel like i’m in such a state of flux that it’s all i could possibly write about right now.

all i want to do is watch criminal minds and play zelda. and maybe write a poem here and there. maybe it’s seasonal depression, maybe it’s white supremacists loudly taking over canada. it’s probably both.

i am hanging on a string. i have no direction. all i can do is swing back and forth.

i keep thinking about going on vacation somewhere but my fear is that no matter where i go, i’ll still feel like this. they say you can change your surroundings but it won’t change your insides.

i am so grateful to have the freedom to be self-employed, the freedom to work anywhere. the financial stability to take a trip. but right now, when i try to picture going on vacation, i just see myself being exhausted and sad on a beach.

i know if you’re reading this you know that i’m not writing this to make you feel sorry for me. i’m writing this because i have a sneaking suspicion i’m not the only one who feels like this.

i’ll keep hanging in there if you do too.

xoxo
m