have you ever felt erased by someone?
and a few of my favourite things
hello my loves!
in case you were wondering, the moon is in libra. libra is one my favourite moon energies. it’s an air sign, so it’s light, and it’s ruled by venus, so it’s a great day for love, beauty and aesthetics (want bomb pictures? take them when the moon is in libra).
my fave libra moon?
it’s not necessarily the easiest energy for making decisions or staying grounded (similar to gemini in that way–but where gemini is intellectual, libra is… pretty), so if you feel like you’re floating away, you might want to turn to your fave grounding practices (journaling, going for a walk, putting your bare feet in the grass–whatever you like).
to be honest, i didn’t have much of an agenda for today’s newsletter. so i asked on insta stories what you wanted me to write about, and y’all suggested most of my favourite things… which of course i will happily write about.
let’s talk about plants, baby
thank you liam for the suggestion!
calamondin orange tree
my latest plant drama was that my lil orange tree had spider mites. it’s one of my newest plants (from valleyview gardens), but luckily i put it in a spot far away from all the others so there was no contagion.
i wiped away most of the webs, sprayed the soil very thoroughly with a mix of water and isopropyl alcohol, and things were looking pretty good for a few days. then i saw one little spidey hanging from a branch yesterday, so i did another spray of the soil and also lightly sprayed the leaves all over (i didn’t go too hard on the leaves since alcohol is pretty drying and i didn’t want to kill it).
as i went to take pics to include, i discovered she has a little flower! seems like a good sign to me.
thai constellation monstera
my thai constellation monstera is doing… okay. for those of you who don’t know, a thai constellation is a rare breed of monstera that was originally created in a lab in thailand. it’s much more finicky than a normal monstera, grows very slowly, and is stupidly expensive for a plant.
honestly, i kind of regret buying it! i don’t really have a place for it in my house–i had it on my kitchen ledge for a while, but then the leaves started pointing up towards the windows and it looked silly 😂 it has a little brown spot that i think mainly came from the dryness in my apartment. now, it’s upstairs in my house and i think it’s doing better with the higher humidity.
if you want to buy it from me, i have it listed on facebook marketplace.
general plant tips
if you currently don’t own plants but want to become a plant parent, or have a few plants that need help, here are my beginner tips.
light
i don’t know why it took me so long to accept that plants need light to grow, but it’s true. if you want your plant to grow a lot, put it directly in front of a window. if it’s a medium to low light plant (aka not a fiddle leaf fig) and you don’t care if it grows, you can get away with putting it a little further from a window, but it should have pretty direct access to a light source.
nursery pot
the pot you get your plant in is called a nursery pot. i know it’s ugly, but keep it in there. 99% of my plants are in their original nursery pots with a nicer cover pot on top.
why do you have to keep the nursery pot? drainage! though you can drill holes in your nice pots or find ones that have drainage, i’ve found that nothing really tops the drainage of a nursery pot. and if you’re thinking of putting a plant in a pot with zero drainage, it will not do very well, and eventually, it will die. i’ve killed many plants this way.
stick your finger in it
the best way to tell if your plants need water is to stick your finger in the soil. saturdays are my dedicated watering day, so i just go around and stick my finger in every plant. the ones that are dry get water, and the ones that are still moist are skipped. when your finger is dry and your plants do need water, water them a lot (enough to drip out of the bottom of the nursery pot).
a common misconception is that overwatering is giving too much water–it’s actually just watering too frequently. if you have good drainage, the excess water will come out. and if you’re a little heavy handed with the watering can, you can always revisit your plants an hour or two after watering and dump out whatever’s still in the tray or cover pot (to prevent the plant from sitting in water, which can lead to root rot).
you can get a moisture meter, you can get an app that tells you when your plant needs water, but honestly, i’ve found the finger method is the most effective.
buy bigger plants
it might seem counterintuitive–i know when i first started getting plants, i stuck to 2 inch and 4 inch pots, mainly because they were cheap and i felt like it didn’t matter if i killed them. but 6 inch and bigger plants are SO much easier to take care of. they’ve had more time to blossom in the nursery and are more resilient, so even if you’re not the best plant parent, they’re way more likely to thrive. i just gave up on a peperomia in a 4 inch pot, cause even though i felt like i was doing everything right, it just kept getting wimpier.
let’s talk about crystals and me
thank you valerie for the suggestion!
the best crystals for leo season
if you didn’t know, the sun is currently in leo!
it’s popularly called [insert astrological sign here] season when the sun is in a sign. and sun signs are what most people know as their zodiac sign. it’s the easiest to figure out, because you just need to know your date of birth (e.g. if you were born on august 12, you’re a leo sun). the sun stays in each sign for about a month, whereas the moon changes signs every two days and risings change about every hour.
now that you have a basic understanding of astrological seasons (if you didn’t already), here are the best crystals for leo season in my opinion.
carnelian
leo is a fire sign, and carnelian crystals are a mix of red and orange–super fiery! it’s an awesome crystal for creativity and igniting passion, great for confidence, and has recently become popular on tiktok for helping people with their love lives. i call carnelian my bad bitch stone.
black tourmaline
with the extraverted energy of leo season, you might find that you’re putting yourself out there more. expressing opinions, wearing bold outfits, generally doing more things to attract attention. if that energy resonates with you right now, black tourmaline is a great crystal to consider. it’s one of the best protection stones, so if people see you living your best life and are projecting bad vibes, jealousy, or the evil eye onto you, black tourmaline will stop the negative energy in its tracks. i have a little piece of black tourmaline that’s always in my purse.
flower lace agate or flower jasper
these two flower crystals have the best inner child energy. leo rules the fifth house, which is the house of children, playfulness, and fun, so it’s the perfect time to lighten the mood and get into your inner child. it’s no coincidence that leo season is the peak of summer! grab a flower crystal and run through sprinklers, finger paint, spin around in the grass–whatever makes your inner child sing.
since people always ask, some of my fave places to get crystals (that source them ethically) are earth healing star (they have some beautiful carnelian palm stones right now!) and crystalline elements.
poetry prompt
this week’s prompt is based on a line that keeps popping into my head… which feels fitting as i just very self-indulgently wrote about my favourite things.
but first, a tangent–after the trauma of 2017 (if you read when he leaves you, you know what i’m talking about), i kind of lost my identity. i didn’t know what i liked anymore, and if i did have interests, i didn’t feel confident enough that they mattered to talk about them.
if you’ve ever had an experience with someone who has narcissistic qualities, you might relate to the idea of them erasing you. i felt empty, but not in the sense that nothing had ever been there. in the sense that what i used to have was gone.
after years of feeling such a detachment from myself and downplaying my interests, i feel a lot of joy around what i like now. that’s why i won’t shut up about astrology, why i love learning about crystals, why i’ll talk your ear off about plants. it has been a pleasure to get to know myself again, and to give myself the space and reassurance i need to loudly like what i like.
end tangent–the line that keeps popping into my head is:
what an honour it is to spend a lifetime getting to know yourself
which is also your prompt!
yesterday i parallel parked on the first try
stopped drinking coffee black
have matcha lattes instead
i like flowers now
let my hair air dry
still look best in the mornings
wearing olive green
i felt more than i’ve ever felt
in the last two years
stopped making people cry
because sometimes honest is just mean
and i can't stop thinking
what an honour it is
to spend a lifetime
getting to know myself
without you
i have two tiktoks for you!
i’m convinced this person only pops up on my fyp when their message is specifically for me. if you feel like you’re in a season of getting to know yourself, it might be for you too.
it was only a matter of time before i put one of my own tiktoks in here.
if you were considering buying my next book when it comes out in exactly two months (!!), i would so appreciate if you could pre-order it now.
i did a little research, and it looks like one of the most promising ways to get on the new york times best seller list is through pre-orders. getting on that list is my biggest manifestation right now, so if you want to help by pre-ordering, i love you the most!
that’s it for this week, my dears (i need to look up more terms of endearment).
as always, feel free to share the poem you wrote this week, your current plant woes, or your fave crystals.
and if you know someone who has similar specific interests, why not share this with them!
xoxo
m
good afternoon! i enjoyed reading this week's entry. LOL i have just recently tried my hand at having plants but im not sure if its going well lol im a certified plant killer but im wishing to change my ways smh i just hope my plants i got will still be alive by the end of this year lol. anyways moving on, i definitely have experience with a narcissist and it truly drains everything out of you and honestly its hard to tell their entire negative impact until you're out of the situation, luckily i shut down that person very quickly lol. But i definitely know what it feels like to lose yourself in someone else, in my recent relationship even though i felt very much in control of my choices and who i was as a person, i was always subconsciously aware of them, like anything i would do for myself i would think about if it would benefit them or us and i made choices that would benefit us my desire, in the end i did feel lost about who i was, i wasn't sure if my desires were even mine or ones i forced myself to have. it just happens when you love too hard. but after getting out of that relationship, i feel really free. anyways here's my poem
i feel free, completely alone
i get to do things on my terms for myself only
i drive blasting my music, that you hated listening to
i go out and enjoy myself, without waiting on you to be available and in the mood for company
i got my first tattoo and i want more
i wear whatever i want, not trying to dress in a way that you liked me best
come two months or two years, will i even recognize myself? will you still remember me? i dont care lol
in the end u were my favourite dead weight in my life that i had to cut off
because at the end of the day i only have myself, i'd rather be me than you, so
it's an honour it is to spend a lifetime getting to know myself
💙
these are getting better every week! great way to spend my Thursday morning!